Our relationships enrich our lives. Strong bonds with family, friends, and colleagues make our lives full and vibrant, but they can also be a source of distress or even trauma. Few relationships are perfect, and we often find ourselves let down by even the people we count on most; learning to navigate the challenges is vital to protecting our health and wellbeing. In this book the author presents a model for forgiveness that addresses how we either repair relationships when someone has harmed us, or how we move forward when relationships are beyond repair. Repairing a relationship is not always practical. The model presented in this book can be helpful to promote self-healing and to either re-establish relationships with others or move forward when reconciliation is harmful or not possible. Practicing Forgiveness draws on the perspectives of counseling professionals from across the country to explore contextual and cultural aspects of forgiveness with stories, humor, clinical examples, research, and empirical findings, while also considering the influence of environment and religion. The forgiveness process is a universal one, and this book serves as a resource to anyone wishing to gain insight into their own personal journey.
Forgiveness marks one of the most important issues of our time. If the enormous number of books and articles are a measure, then forgiveness--our forgiveness of others and forgiveness for ourselves--appeals to our deepest concern. It's a challenge to determine just what we mean when we speak of "forgiveness." Any discussion will reveal that our shared understanding and practices of forgiveness quickly diverge. For example, is it the same thing to forgive a child, a criminal, a malicious acquaintance, or someone who's inadvertently done us harm? Likely, no. We'll discover in this book that how we understand and practice forgiveness has shifted and changed through history, formed by cultural context. Even biblically, our understanding of forgiveness has altered over time. We'll unpack the importance of this cultural history and then turn to the three strands of forgiveness that together form our modern practice of forgiveness. First, the personal and therapeutic forgiveness. Second, the communal forgiveness that's valued for its power to resolve conflict, renew relationships, and restore peace. Finally, the divine, God's absolute unconditional forgiveness, a forgiveness we'll discover that undergirds every other way we understand forgiveness.
Many of the people served by social workers draw upon spirituality, by whatever names they call it, to help them thrive, to succeed at challenges, and to infuse their resources and relationships with meaning beyond mere survival value. This revised and expanded edition of a classic provides a comprehensive framework of values, knowledge, skills, and evidence for spiritually sensitive practice with diverse clients. Weaving together interdisciplinary theory and research, as well as the results from a national survey of practitioners, the authors describe a spiritually oriented model for practice that places clients' challenges and goals within the context of their deepest meanings and highest aspirations. Using richly detailed case examples and thought-provoking activities, this highly accessible text illustrates the professional values and ethical principles that guide spiritually sensitive practice. It presents definitions and conceptual models of spirituality and religion; draws connections between spiritual diversity and cultural, gender, and sexual orientation diversity; and offers insights from Buddhism, Christianity, Confucianism, Hinduism, Indigenous religions, Islam, Judaism, Existentialism, and Transpersonal theory. Eminently practical, it guides professionals in understanding and assessing spiritual development and related mental health issues and outlines techniques that support transformation and resilience, such as meditation, mindfulness, ritual, forgiveness, and engagement of individual and community-based spiritual support systems. For social workers and other professional helpers committed to supporting the spiritual care of individuals, families, and communities, this definitive guide offers state-of-the-art interdisciplinary and international insights as well as practical tools that students and practitioners alike can put to immediate use.
'A practical guide by the man Time magazine has called “the forgiveness trailblazer.” While it may seem like a simple enough act, forgiveness is a difficult, delicate process which, if executed correctly, can be profoundly moving and a deep learning experience. Whatever the scenario may be—whether you need to make peace with a certain situation, with a loved one or friend, or with a total stranger—the process of forgiveness is an art and a science, and this hands-on guide walks readers through it in 8 key steps. How can we become forgivingly “fit”? How can we identify the source of our pain and inner turmoil? How can we find meaning in what we have suffered, or learn to forgive ourselves? What should we do when forgiveness feels like a particularly tall order? All these questions and more are answered in this practical book, leading us to become more tolerant, compassionate, and hopeful human beings.
We all long for peace within ourselves, families, communities, countries, and throughout the world. We wonder what we can do about the multitude of con?icts currently wreaking havoc across the globe and the continuous reports of violence in communities as well as within families. Most of the time, we contemplate solutions beyond our reach, and overlook a powerful tool that is at our disposal: forgiveness. As a genocide survivor, I know something about it. As the genocide unfolded in Rwanda in 1994, I was devastated by what I believed to be the inevitable deaths of my loved ones. The news that my parents and my seven siblings had indeed been killed was simply unbearable. Anger and bitterness became my daily companions. Likewise, I continued to wonder how the Hutus and Tutsis in Rwanda could possibly reconcile after one of the most horrendous genocides of the 20th century. It was not until I came to understand the notion of forgiveness that I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Common wisdom suggests that forgiveness comes after a perpetrator makes a genuine apology. This wisdom informs us that in the aftermath of a wrongdoing, the offender must acknowledge the wrong he or she has done, express remorse, express an apology, commit to never repeating said harm, and make reparations to theextentpossible.Onlythencanthevictimforgiveandagreetoneverseekrevenge.
This volume considers challenges to forgiveness in the most difficult circumstances, such as in criminal justice contexts, when the victim is dead or when bystanders disagree, and when anger and resentment seem preferable and important.
Too many of us feel trapped in stagnant romantic, family, or workplace relationships. Weighed down by toxic thoughts and emotions, we might be quick to judge and slow to pardon, and self-righteous about our feelings as we dwell on memories of what we or others did (or failed to do). In this new book, Iyanla Vanzant challenges us to liberate ourselves from the wounds of the past and to embrace the new power of forgiveness. With Iyanla’s 21-Day Forgiveness Plan, you’ll explore relationship dynamics with your parents, children, friends, partners, co-workers, bosses, yourself, and even God. With journaling work and Emotional Freedom Techniques (also known as "tapping"), you’ll learn to live with more love; gain new clarity on your life, lessons, and blessings; and discover a new level of personal freedom, peace, and well-being. Forgiveness doesn’t mean agreeing with, condoning, or even liking what has happened. Forgiveness means letting go and knowing that—regardless of how challenging, frightening, or difficult an experience may seem—everything is just as it needs to be in order for you to grow and learn. When you focus on how things "should" be, you deny the presence and power of love. Accept the events of the past, while being willing to change your perspective on them. As Iyanla says, "Only forgiveness can liberate minds and hearts once held captive by anger, bitterness, resentment, and fear. Forgiveness is a true path to freedom that can renew faith, build trust, and nourish the soul."
An Assessment of Contemporary Models of Forgiveness examines recent psychological and theological models of forgiveness and introduces the concept of communal forgiveness nurtured and mediated through the community of faith. The psychological models are generally individualistic in nature and are concerned with the psychological wellbeing of the victims. The theological models of forgiveness emphasize the importance of interpersonal forgiveness as a Christian witness in the imitation of God's forgiveness. The foundation of the theological models is the Triune God who through the cross of Christ forgave the sins of the ungodly. "Celestin Musekura had just begun doctoral studies in Dallas when he learned that many of his own family members had been killed in a wave of genocide reprisals back home in Rwanda. Revenge would have been understandable, but he said, 'I have preached forgiveness, and now it is my turn to practice it. To my family I say, I will pray for those who brutally murdered you, and I will care for their children.' It should come as no surprise that Celestin's understanding of forgiveness, well expressed in these pages, is restoring communities throughout sub-Saharan Africa. He knows and practices that of which he speaks. This book sets a course for realistic, collective transformation."-Robert A. Pyne, Th.D., Director, Peace and Justice Center, St. Norbert College
The book organizes and synthesizes existing forgiveness research around a descriptive communication framework, demonstrating how existing psychological research can be enriched by through the application of communication theories, including dialectical and face-management perspectives. For example, exploring how forgiveness is a process of dyadic negotiation, not just an individual's decision.
The one practice that liberates you from everything! Are you bothered by conflicts in your relationships? Are you facing hurdles in your career despite your best efforts? Do physical illnesses nag you? Are you bogged down by financial constraints? Do you find yourself held by emotions like guilt, resentment, anger and despair? Life is like a game of snakes and ladders. While we look forward to the ladders that raise us higher, we avoid the snakes that pull us down. But what if you received a magic wand that could change the snakes in your life into ladders!? Wouldn’t you be interested? Such a magic wand exists. It is the spiritual practice of forgiveness. The conversations in this book explain the art of resolving life’s predicaments at the deeper level of karmic bondages. At a deeper level, every life situation – whether it’s about physical health, emotional flux, social disharmony, financial constraints or spiritual growth – is fundamentally the play of karmic impressions. Seeking forgiveness offers solutions to all the quandaries of life by clearing karmic bondages. Read this book to discover the art of seeking forgiveness. Master the one single practice that can liberate you from all negativity, from every hurdle in life!